what a weekend. let’s start with friday.
friday, october 24th 2008.
location: detroit
all in attendance: erin, meg, jen, ryan and myself.
reason for celebration: erin’s 25th birthday, megan’s going away party, my promotion party and jen’s night out without the little man party. ryan was just there to look like a baller.
highlights: booked a hotel room on priceline for $40 (i effin’ love that website), dinner at the parthenon where the saganaki was bangin’ and we pissed off our waiter, ventured off to the old shillelagh where ryan ripped off his shirt in a dance trance…literally, ripped it off, watched the cougars on the dance floor tear it up, hit up the well where ryan and megan had their own dance dance revolution, megan’s drink got knocked out of her hand during the crazy dancing, went to baltimore and discovered that erin was shitfaced by this point and having trouble keeping her dress down, met some gentlemen that knew the bouncer at deluxe, we travel to deluxe and get in without paying cover, we dance our faces off, get free drinks without showing any breasts (always a plus…well, for me), close down the bar, walk down the street with me on one side of erin and megan on the other holding her up, erin is high kicking her legs in a short dress and some black dudes ask why she is showing her coochie like a crazy person, i reply, “it’s her 21st, man, let it go,” we continue to pull her dress down for her, we get a cab, erin tries taking off her clothes in the cab, we tell her to keep them on, get back to the hotel, change erin in to her pjs, during the process i see erin’s boobs and we call it a night. wow. i saw some boobs and it wasn’t even my birthday. game on.
i love detroit and would party down there every weekend if i lived closer. and maybe if i had my own gun.
saturday, october 25th 2008.
location: royal oak/ferndale.
all in attendance: a ton of effin’ people.
reason for celebration: dave’s halloween party.
highlights: before amy, lauren and i even get to our destination, we stop at a mcdonalds so lauren can pee. i forget that we are in costumes and lauren is a slutty gangster with no pants. she walks in to mcdonalds, all the guys stare, from the car, i see a guy mouth the words, “are you serious?”, the guys wait with anticipation for her to come out of the bathroom so they can see her again, she runs out to the car, a mcdonalds employee says to her, “daaaaaaaaaaaaaang, can i roll with you?”, lauren hops in the car, another mcdonalds employee throws himself up against the window giving us the “call me” signal, we say “yeah, we’ll call you,” and drive off laughing. we get to adriane’s house, have a drink and discover that with my viking horns, i can do a pretty good impression of a charging bull. lauren has a great cell phone video of it that i am waiting on. we all pile in one car, adriane’s boyfriend and friend are in the front, the four girls are in the back. eric is listening to talk radio when i say, “wow, eric, the bass on this station sounds amazing in your car.” he gets the hint and we look for another channel. channel surfing with six people crammed in a mercury is interesting. disco was the only thing on fm radio at ten o’clock for some reason. we stop at a party store to get some booze. a middle aged couple walks in when we are checking out and ask lauren what corner she works on…jokingly. we exchange some hooker jokes and probably left some heads spinning at the liquor store. we get to the party, play some beer pong with concave balls because those were the only two left. we meet all kinds of people, make new friends. i am talking to a guy named chris when he randomly puts his fingers in his ears and i forwardly ask, “why are your fingers in your ears?” he says “i am cleaning them out so i can hear you better.” hmm, okay, let’s go with it. amy gets groped by satan, and he leaves a red hand print on her ass. that satan…always a jokester. lauren drinks a fifth of rum all by her lonesome and is still coherent, and i am extremely impressed. the girls and i take a picture of the cliche three-way kiss for our friend, josh, in florida and sent it via text to him. we drink, drink, drink, converse and drink and leave the party at about three or something like that. we get back to adrianes and lauren and i decide that the white castle that we saw on the cab ride home would be a great idea. we immediately run out the door. and this is where the adventure kicks in. lauren and i think that the white castle is just around the corner, so we are in high spirits walking down the street. nature calls and we have to pee. an apartment building looks like a great place to pee on the side of. i brace myself between a bush and the building, lauren chooses to pee right in the middle of the service drive. good choice. we are walking for a very long time. i tell lauren to google the location on her cell. we find out that the white castle is 2.2 miles from where we are. dammit! well, we are already walking, so we might as well make the journey. drunk people will do anything for white castle, apparently. i see a dead squirrel in the middle of the sidewalk, so why not poke it and take dumb pics with it? poor squirrel. we then steal a pumpkin off of someones front porch and attempt to run with it. the pumpkin is heavy as hell, i drop it, it breaks and it’s all over. there is a cell phone video of that incident that i am waiting on, as well. our friend, nick, calls, we tell him what we are doing, he is our hero and picks us up and we finally get to white castle. what do we want?!? what else…a fucking crave case with five orders of fries. we get back to adrianes, everyone is asleep. what the hell are lauren and i going to do with a crave case? we tackle half of it. nick watches us eat it in disgust (he’s a model, whatever.) it finally comes time for bed at 5am. there are no blankets left, so i grab two fitted bed sheets and curl up on the floor, wrap myself in the bed sheets like a burrito and crash.
what did i learn? white castles are like mirages. they appear to be a lot closer than they really are when drunk.
pics of the weekend can be seen on my myspace profile. videos will be on youtube when i get them.
