a customer at work was taking a sip out of their protein drink, when they dribbled a little bit on the counter. without thinking, and with a dollar bill, the customer wiped up the drop and licked it off the bill.
“oh, no you didn’t,” i said.
“didn’t you know? that’s how you get your daily hit of cocaine,” he replied.
“…and feces,” i added.
sometimes in the morning, grizzly and i play a game that’s similar to “where’s waldo?”
i like to call it “where’s the urination?”
i bet you’ll never guess.
so, for those of you who happen to stumble upon my sometimes-coherent ramblings on my website, you might remember reading about a date gone wrong back in december or so.
i rigged myself up on my own “point system” that i failed miserably. i guess some people aren’t impressed when you verbally express your profound love for taylor swift.
anyway, the “date” has since proposed to someone else. i don’t mind this fact, but it was brought to my attention that perhaps the reason everyone else is taking the plunge and i am not, is due to my immaturity.
true. but dating someone on my maturity level isn’t really my style, and it happens to be just plain illegal. oh well. i am sure second-graders don’t put out, anyway.
conversation between a customer and i at work the other day:
“wow, that’s a huge rock,” the guy said to me as he was eying my “wedding ring*.”
“oh, yeah, thanks,” i replied,” but it’s totally fake.”
“well that’s cool that you admit it,” he said.
“yeah, i just don’t feel like getting jumped for it when it only cost me thirteen bucks at Kohls.”
*this ring is my “creepy guy repellent.” and yes, it works…sometimes.