i guess going on a date with miss reneecarol.com isn’t for everyone. (okay, i guess i shouldn’t really call it a date, but for lack of a better word to describe drinking coffee while watching a movie and chatting, we’ll just call it a date.)
here’s proof:
i meet my “date” at one of the local coffee joints. i am sure that what i am wearing has some remnants of dog hair somewhere, while he is clean cut and without signs of a pet lingering on his shirt. (-2 pts for renee)
we start chatting about brian kelly, the notre dame football coach, and i throw out that he used to coach central michigan university’s team. a nearby guy is impressed that i know such information. (+3 pts for renee)
we decide to watch a movie at his place. while walking out to our vehicles, i mention something about how personalized license plates are kind of stupid. he happens to have a personalized license plate. (-2 pts for renee)
we talk while watching a movie and he mentions his favorite band of the moment. i, without thinking, blurt out, “ugh, i hate them.” (-3 pts for renee)
he asks mature questions like, “where do you see yourself in five years?” i bite my tongue and DON’T say, “probably knocked up, living in a double wide, smoking newports.” (+1 pt for renee)
what i do respond is, “hopefully i will have finished one of my writing pieces and have something published. i would also love to be a comedy writer.” great. he is probably thinking that i have no ambitions other than that of writing down every asinine thought that comes in to my head. (-2 pts for renee)
he’s got a nice house with a ton of great places to hide for the game “hide-and-seek.” i verbalize this thought. i am twenty-five-years old. (-2 pts for renee)
i tell him not to let me handle anything fragile, because i will most likely break it on accident…he doesn’t have a plastic cup for me to drink out of, so this glass of water is a little risky. (-1 pt for renee)
i mention that my choice of music right now is pretty much anything by taylor swift. yet again, i am twenty-five-years old. (-1 pt for renee)
total: -9 points
i am sure that i am leaving out other dumb things that i did/said, but let’s be honest, sometimes i just do/say too many stupid things to keep track.
this happened quite a while ago, and i still haven’t heard from said date. rather than be worried about it, i just have to chuckle and reflect on why i might not be for everyone. i guess not every guy can handle a gal that can burp full sentences and make fun of the jonas brothers for hours on end.
…and i think i found the final nail in the coffin: mr. date found me on facebook, which means he probably saw the link to my website. there’s nothing quite like displaying yourself for everyone to see on your own shitty website.
maybe the next one will like playing hide-and-seek, so i’ll have nothing to worry about.