www.reneecarol.com

oh, the perks of working.  if i didn’t have that depressing filler in my life, i would have fewer funny stories to share.

“shove it up your ass sideways,” the guy calls back as he walks out.

okay. let’s rewind.

mr. junkie and his trailer park princess walk in to make a return.  sure.  we can try to do that.

“do you have a receipt?” i asked.

“nope,” he said.

“okay,well, where did you get it?” i asked back.

“umm, here,” miss tweaked-out princess replied.

“nah, it doesn’t look like we’ve sold this product since i’ve been here,” i mentioned.

“oh, well, we got it from this same store, but the one across town,” she snapped.

“well, let me see what we can do,” i said as i checked the price in the register. “okay, this is a discontinued price of $3.97, but it’s two months away from expiration, meaning i can only give you 25-percent of that, which comes to a dollar.  are you really sure you want to return it without that receipt?” i questioned.

“yeah…i’ll just take a couple of these and we can call it even,” the guy said as he grabs a couple of protein bars and starts to walk out.

“actually, we need to do an exchange in the computer for inventory reasons, so it’ll only take a minute,” i called after him.

mr. white trash-tweak-a-riffic looks irritated, but complies.  he returns to the counter.

apparently, when you’re high on meth, or crank, or whatever mr. citizen-of-the-year was on, you’re fairly impatient.  i was almost finished with the transaction and crediting him his one whole dollar when he shoves the protein bars across the counter and says “forget it,” and turns to storm out.

“oh, well, don’t forget your product here,” i called after him.

i guess he didn’t care because he kept walking.

“well, have a great day,” i said anyway, even though i could care less if this fucker O.D.’d in the desert.

“shove it up your ass sideways,” he yelled as he walked out the front door with his lady friend.

“oh, thanks, you do the same,” i replied with a shit-eating-grin on my face.  the customer next in line looked at me with a confused expression on his face.

“yeah, i know, someone must be having a bad tuesday,” i said. “but just for the heck of it, can you NOT tell me to shove something up my behind? it’s going to be a long day for me.”

the guy just laughed and managed not to tell me something mean during the whole transaction.  thank you, sir.  you may not know it, but by you refraining from telling me to stick any object up my own ass, sideways no less, has just made my day.  come back and see me anytime.

as for the crackheads, they didn’t bother to come back.  i don’t know how much meth you can purchase in exchange for a dollars-worth of fun size protein bars, but i’m sure it’s enough to get the party started.  maybe next time we’ll stock the shelves with some PCP and you’ll find something worth your interest.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 8th, 2010 at 9:13 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.